Healthy, positive relationships and communication are vital to lead a happy and satisfying life. They bring us companionship, joy and comfort. Another reality of relationships is that they can bring grief, arguments, anger, and disappointment. It is completely natural and an unavoidable part of human nature to have disagreements and be upset with each other occasionally. What most people don’t realize is that there is a way to prevent many arguments from even forming, and a way to overcome the aftermath of those that have occurred. The key to healthy relationships is good communication.
Communication is the most important part of maintaining and improving your relationships. Too often we let ourselves be overcome by our anger during an argument, and say hurtful, non-productive things. If a disagreement goes on long enough, there’s a strong likelihood that someone will call names, bring up events from the past, or bring up topics that have little or nothing to do with the issue at hand. When the argument is over, fights like these leave people still feeling hurt and bitter about what was said. The next time there is an argument, these feelings will arise again and again. Poor communication fuels itself.
When you learn to communicate appropriately with others, disagreements can become positive in the long run. It is appropriate to be able to tell someone “no”, have healthy boundaries, and voice your opinions. Some people tend to “bottle things up”, allowing their true feelings to go undetected until they are finally triggered. What usually ensues is an argument that is intense and hurtful. If proper communication was implemented, there would never have been so much pressure ready to explode to begin with. Not only would it have prevented a damaging argument, the person keeping the feelings hidden would have reduced his or her own anxiety. There is nothing selfish about communicating your needs and wants to others, it keeps peace and harmony in a relationship.
Learning to fight fair is not the only aspect of communication in relationships. It is also important to tell those who are important to you what they mean to you and why. Many people only reveal sentimental feelings during special occasions like birthdays or holidays. It’s also common for people who have had a long relationship with someone to stop showing positive feelings. The truth is, everyone needs to be reassured that they are valuable, loved, accepted, and appreciated. Never hold back a positive comment, and try to find ways to compliment people you have relationships with. These actions keep the very foundation of the relationship strong, which is crucial in times of hardship.
It is important to remember that learning to communicate effectively and fairly in relationships is a conscious choice. The words you choose, or in some cases don’t choose, ultimately decide how healthy your relationship will be. While it may be an exercise in self control at first, you’ll soon learn to openly communicate with others and reap the rewards of a more positive relationship.